Tuesday, December 9, 2008

Jokes

Interviewer: just imagine you are in III floor, it caught fire and how will you escape?
Candidate: its simple. I will stop my imagination

Friday, November 21, 2008

Read it from


Read it from bottom.....



From: Jayaraman Thatchanamurthy
Posted At: Friday, July 18, 2008 5:47 PM
Posted To: CHN General
Conversation: Clarification needed...
Subject: Re:Clarification needed...

As per your calculation
Prawn biriyani = - egg
Prawn biriyani + egg =0
Prawn biriyani + egg = egg -- 1 ( 0=muttai=egg)

So if you want to eat prawn bryani,you need to get it with egg which means you only get egg
But you wanted prawn briyani

So from equation 1
Prawn biriyani + egg = egg
Prawn biriyani + egg –egg = Prawn Briyani

So finally you get prawn briyani without egg

Cheers
JRT



From: Poornima Balakrishnan
Posted At: Friday, July 18, 2008 5:43 PM
Posted To: BB
Conversation: Clarification needed...
Subject: Clarification needed...
It doesn't mean that the customers need to give an egg to hotel. It means Prawn biriyani's are served without an egg.
Regards,
Poorni.


From: Sreeram_Eachambadi
Posted At: Friday, July 18, 2008 5:41 PM
Posted To: CHN General
Conversation: Clarification needed...
Subject: Clarification needed...
Then the questions would arise, what would be type of egg…
Chicken Egg, Duck Egg or HUMAN egg??? 
Regards,
Sreeram
Extn:62221
MSR-RAD Team


From: Gopakumar Sivanpillai
Posted At: Friday, July 18, 2008 5:36 PM
Posted To: CHN General
Conversation: Clarification needed...
Subject: Clarification needed...

Poornima,
As per your clarification, prawn biriyani = -egg. Doesn't that mean, to get a prawn biriyani, the customer has to give an egg to the supplier/hotel? 


From: Poornima Balakrishnan
Posted At: Friday, July 18, 2008 5:29 PM
Posted To: CHN General
Conversation: Clarification needed...
Subject: Clarification needed...
The below can be taken as the answer:
Let us assume as per Nixon's answer Egg is compulsory in non veg Biriyani

Egg Biriyani + Mutton Biriyani + Prawn Biriyani = Non veg Biriyani----------- (1)

For Egg Biriyani= 1Egg (we get in hotels )

For Mutton Biriyani = 1Egg (we get in hotels)

So substituting the above in equation (1) we get

1 Egg + 1Egg + Prawn Biriyani = egg(as per nixons mail) (non veg biriyani = egg)

2 Egg + Prawn Biriyani = egg

Prawn Biriyani = egg – 2 egg

So Prawn biriyani = - egg

Hence prawn biriyanis are served without eggs

Hence Proved.
Regards,
Poorni.

From: Jayaraman Thatchanamurthy
Posted At: Friday, July 18, 2008 5:05 PM
Posted To: CHN General
Conversation: Clarification needed...
Subject: Re:Clarification needed.

Muthu
I think you took a AC room in a 5* hotel, sat there and thought all this?
Cheers
JRT










From: Muthu Malla D.
Posted At: Friday, July 18, 2008 5:01 PM
Posted To: BB
Conversation: Clarification needed...
Subject: Clarification needed again...

Thanks Nixson for attempting to clarify my doubt.

"So Egg is compulsory in Briyani."
If this is the case, then while getting veg. briyani, what the vegetarians will do?

"Follow this calculation for Non Veg-Briyani"
Then, why we are not getting the egg with Prawn Briyani…
Even today, we did not get egg for Prawn Briyani where as we got for Mutton Briyani.
Source: Team lunch @ Farm House, ECR ;-)

From: Pasupathy B.
Posted At: Friday, July 18, 2008 4:48 PM
Posted To: CHN General
Conversation: Clarification needed...
Subject: Clarification given

Wah wah wah.. what an explanation..

Regards,
Pasupathy.B
From: Nixson Mathew T
Posted At: Friday, July 18, 2008 4:40 PM
Posted To: CHN General
Conversation: Clarification needed...
Subject: Clarification given

Muthu,

I have the answer

Follow this calculation for Non Veg-Briyani

Type of Briyani Contents
-------------------- -------------------------------
EGG = EGG + Briyani
EGG- EGG = Briyani
0 = Briyani
Where 0 is also called as Muttai i.e. Egg

So Egg is compulsory in Briyani.


Thanks
Nixson

From: Richard Pushpa Vasanth
Posted At: Friday, July 18, 2008 4:23 PM
Posted To: CHN General
Conversation: Clarification needed...
Subject: evalo periya doubt

Vadivelu solradu dhan gnayabagathukku varudu "Ippadi ellam utkaarndu yoshipaangalooo"

Cheers
M.Richard



From: Muthu Malla D.
Posted At: Friday, July 18, 2008 3:58 PM
Posted To: CHN General
Conversation: Clarification needed...
Subject: Clarification needed...

Hi,

Getting an egg with Egg Briyani, is a valid one.
Even, getting an egg with Chicken Briyani, is a logical one.
But, what's the reason behind, getting an egg with Mutton Briyani? ;-)

Most of the restaurants and hotels, follow the same technique.

I am not the best in doing research in that. 
Could someone explain me, why it's so?

Best Regards,
Muthu

Friday, November 14, 2008

How the tongue twists, before and after marriage...........

Before marriage....

He: Yes. At last. It was so hard to wait.
She: Do you want me to leave?
He: No! Don't even think about it.
She: Do you love me?
He: Of course! Over and over!
She: Have you ever cheated on me?
He: No! Why are you even asking?
She: Will you be honest with me?
He: Every chance I get.
She: Will you hit me?
He: Are you crazy! I'm not that kind of person!
She: Can I trust you?
He: Yes.
She: Darling!

After marriage....:Simply read from bottom to top.

Nice one

Husband to wife: When I get mad at you, you never fight back. How do you control your anger?

Wife: I clean the toilet bowl

Husband: How does that help?

Wife: I use your toothbrush

Thursday, October 23, 2008

Gratitude

There was a good old barber in Chennai. One day a florist goes to him for a haircut. After the cut, he goes to pay the barber and the barber replies: I am sorry, I cannot accept money from you; I am doing a community service. Florist is happy and leaves the shop. The next morning when the barber goes to open his shop, there is a "Thank You" card and a dozen roses waiting at his door.

A confectioner goes for a haircut and he also goes to pay the barber he again refuses to take the money. The confectioner is happy and leaves the shop. The next morning when the barber goes to open his shop, there is another “Thank you" card and a dozen cakes waiting at his door.

A software engineer goes for a haircut and he also goes to pay the barber again refuses the money saying that it was a community service. The next morning when the Barber goes to open his shop, guess what he finds there???

A dozen software engineers waiting for a free haircut with printouts of forwarded mail mentioning about free haircut.

MINDBLOWING: VIJAYAKANTH'S dialogue in English

1) U can study and get any certificates. But u cannot get ur death certificate
2) U may have AIRTEL or BSNL connection but when u sneeze u ll say HUTCH
3 ) U can bcome an engineer if u study in engineering college. U cannot bcom a president if u study in Presidency College
4 ) U can expect a BUS from a BUS stop ... u cannot expect a FULL from FULL stop
5) A mechanical engineer can bcom a mechanic but a software engineer cannot bcom a software
6 ) U can find tea in teacup. But cannot find world in world cup
7) U can find keys in Keyboard but u cannot find mother in motherboard.

Wednesday, May 21, 2008

Just for Laughs

Fixing Appointments
Forgiving or punishing the terrorists is left to God.
But, fixing their appointment with God is our responsibility - Indian Army

Updated statement for this IN S/W INDUSTRY........
Forgiving or punishing the Developer is left to Manager. But, fixing their appointment with Manager is our responsibility - Tester

Forgiving or punishing the Manager is left to Client. But, fixing their appointment with Client is our responsibility - Developer

Tougher time
-----------------------------
"I've just had the most awful time," said a boy to his friends. "First I got angina pectoris, then arteriosclerosis. Just as I was recovering, I got psoriasis. They gave me hypodermics, and to top it all, tonsillitis was followed by appendectomy."

"Wow! How did you pull through?" sympathized his friends.

"I don't know," the boy replied. "Toughest spelling test I ever had."

Miscommunication


Tax - Tax - Tax
Read Like Kattabomman Sivaji

Neer than salaried Employee'oooo....

Neer than P. Chidambaramoo......

P.Chidambaram: Ithuvarai varudam Rs. 2500 seluthi vanda Professional Tax ai inimel varudam Rs.7500, athavathu matham Rs.625 Vari arasuku selutha
vendum.....

vari, vatti, kisthi...
Yaarai ketkirai vari...
Etharkku ketkirai vari..
bug polikirathu.. Revenue vilaigirathu..
Unakken katta vendum vari.
Projects kuvigirathu varumanam varugirathu
Unakken Katta vendum vatti

Engalodu Supportukku vanthayaa? bug fix panninaaya? documentation seidhaaya ?
Allathu, konji vilayadum bench ill ullavargalukku Training than koduthayaa? Clienta? Project managera?
Maanagettavanea...

Men's perspective...

When a man steals your wife, there is no better revenge than to let him keep her - DavidBissonette

After marriage, husband and wife become two sides of a coin; they just can't face each other, but still they stay together. - Sacha Guitry

By all means marry. If you get a good wife, you'll be happy. If you get a bad one, you'll become a philosopher. - Socrates

Woman inspires us to great things, and prevents us from achieving them. - Anonymous

The great question... which I have not been able to answer... is, "What does a woman want?" - Dumas

I had some words with my wife, and she had some paragraphs with me.- Sigmund Freud

"I've had bad luck with both my wives. The first one left me, and the second one didn't." - James Holt McGavra

Two secrets to keep your marriage brimming 1. Whenever you're wrong, admit it, 2. Whenever you're right, shut up. - Patrick Murra

The most effective way to remember your wife's birthday is to forget it once... - Nash

A good wife always forgives her husband when she's wrong. - Rodney Dangerfield

Origin of the Species

A little girl asked her mother, "How did the human race come about?"

The mother answered: "God made Adam and Eve and they had children and all mankind came from them."

Two days later she asks her father the same question.

The father answered: "Many years ago there were monkeys, and we developed from them."

The confused girl returns to her mother and says:

"Mummy how is it possible that you told me that the human race was created by God and Daddy says we developed from monkeys?"

The mother answers: "Well dear, it is very simple. I told you about the origin of my side of the family, and your father told you about his."


Here is the reason. Why Newton Committed Suicide.....

Once, Newton came to India and watched a few Tamil movies that had his head spinning. He was convinced that all his logic and laws in physics were just a huge pile of junk and apologized for everything he had done.

In the movie of Rajanikanth, Newton was confused to such an extent that he went paranoid. Here are a few scenes

1) Rajanikanth has a Brain Tumor which, according to the doctors can't be cured and his death is imminent. In one of the fights, our great Rajanikanth is shot in the head. To everybody's surprise, the bullet passes through his ears taking away the tumor along with it and he is cured! Long Live Rajanikanth!

2) In another movie, Rajanikanth is confronted with 3 gangsters. Rajanikanth has a gun but unfortunately only one bullet and a knife. Guess, what he does?

He throws the knife at the middle gangster? & shoots the bullet towards the knife. The knife cuts the bullet into 2 pieces, which kills both the gangsters on each side of the middle gangster & the knife kills the middle one.

3) Rajanikanth is chased by a gangster. Rajanikanth has a revolver but no bullets in it. Guess, what he does. Nah? not even in your remotest imaginations.

He waits for the gangster to shoot. As soon as the gangster shoots, Rajanikanth opens the bullet compartment of his revolver and catches the bullet. Then, he closes the bullet compartment and fires his gun. Bang... the gangster dies...

This was too much for our Newton to take! He was completely shaken and decided to go back. But he happened to see another movie for one last time, and thought that at least one movie would follow his theory of physics. The whole movie goes fine and Newton is happy that all in the world hasn't changed. Oops, not so fast!

The 'climax' finally arrives. Rajanikanth gets to know that the villain is on the other side of a very high wall. So high that Rajanikanth can't jump even if he tries like one of those superman techniques that our heroes normally use.Rajanikanth has to desperately kill the villain because it's the climax. (Newton dada is smiling since it is virtually impossible?)

Rajanikanth suddenly pulls two guns from his pockets. He throws one gun in the air and when the gun has reached above the height of the wall, he uses the second gun and shoots at the trigger of the first gun in air. The first gun fires off and the villain is dead.

Newton commits suicide...

You can understand better with this picture.




Sample Leave letters
** Since I have to go to my village to sell my land along with my wife, please sanction me one-week leave.

** From an employee who was performing the "mundan" ceremony of his 10 year old son: "as I want to shave my son's head, please leave me for two days.."

** Leave-letter from an employee who was performing his daughter's wedding:
"as I am marrying my daughter, please grant a week's leave.."

** "As my mother-in-law has expired and I am only one responsible for it, please grant me 10 days leave."